just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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