her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
