chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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