Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
