did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
