who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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