I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
