It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
