And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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