I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
