Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
