32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize