Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Found your dick twin last night
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
