in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm always down for nudity.
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