I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
