Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
