My room smells like vodka and shame
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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