It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
