Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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