brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
