just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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