I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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