biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
