The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
