like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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