Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
