if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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