bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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