He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
tell me about the eggs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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