It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
