on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
