Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
