Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
