Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I forget how to act sober
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
