the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
