why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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