yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
