My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
In America we eat man semen.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
