brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
