I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
