I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize