well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
