I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
