How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
