I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
