I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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