She said her name was "party"
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
