Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i love accidental penises.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize