dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
