Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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