i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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