i would punch a child for taco bell
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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