Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
