meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was confusing and full of hummus
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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