I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
