Sry I called you an 8
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
