You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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