i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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