Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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