3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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