We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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