Sry I called you an 8
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
